Bringing Care Home

Coping with Loss through the Holidays

The holiday season is a time of year that is joyous and filled with happiness and time spent with loved ones. It is a time of hopeful anticipation of a new year. The holiday season can also be a busier and more stressful time.

For people who are grieving the loss of a loved one, the holiday season often presents new emotions and challenges. Perhaps this year you are hoping that you can skip the holiday season entirely, or you are unsure how you will cope with absence and the anticipation of painful times.

Experiencing these types of emotions are normal following the loss of a loved one. However, you can reduce your stress and worry by planning ahead. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to cope and that shedding tears and feeling sad are not bad and don’t have to ruin the entire season.

Here are some suggestions:

Plan ahead.
You may not have as much energy to participate in all the demands of the season. Spend a few minutes to list the usual things you do at the holidays (e.g. holiday cards, shopping, decorating, traditions, holiday dinners and parties). After you have completed the list, make a note next to the items that you will keep this year. Plan to do only as much as you are able.

Take one day at a time.
With all the upcoming events and invitations, the holidays can seem overwhelming. By taking one day at a time, you open yourself up to the possibility of having good days and actually attending that holiday party that right now, you can’t possibly imagine attending.

Spend time with people you enjoy.
You know that there will be times of sadness and times of joy during the holidays. Choose to spend time with people who can accept both your sadness and your joy.

Take care of yourself.
Grieving is hard work. Be sure to eat well, get rest, and do something that will be refreshing to you.

Share your memories and emotions.
Despite the painful emotions and tears that might come, sharing memories also brings comfort and understanding. A few tears won’t ruin the entire holiday season.

Ask others for help.
Often friends and family members want to be helpful, but don’t know how. Think of ways that others can help you and when people ask if there are ways they can be helpful, rely on others to help.

Remember your loved one.
One thing that many people worry about is that the person who died will be forgotten. This time can also be a time of hope and starting new traditions. Talk with your family members and friends before holiday gatherings to understand how others are feeling. Create a ritual that remembers your loved one, such as lighting a candle, or keeping your loved one’s favorite holiday tradition.

For more information, please call Partners Hospice at 781.290.4000.


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